Potty Training

You Might Be Potty Training If…

I recently wrote a post about the 20 Conditions Which Must Be Met For My Kid To Use The Potty. While the majority of it was highly sarcastic, as with most of what I write, there was a degree of truth woven in and out of the silliness. It seemed, at times, that Baby 1.0 was ready to potty train, but when it came time to actually deposit anything other than toys into the toilet, it was a no-go, and cracking the code that unlocked the mysterious conditions of her random successes seemed about on par with deciphering Enigma. (more…)

20 Conditions Which Must Be Met For My 2-Year-Old To Use The Potty

  1. Mercury must be in retrograde. Jupiter must also be ascending. Additionally, a bad moon should be on the rise.
  2. The bathroom must smell as fresh as a meadow in spring, and not by the use of artificial air fresheners, but rather by a rotating selection of fresh, organic herbs, handpicked and bundled with a short length of periwinkle, velvet ribbon.
  3. The overall wattage of the lighting must not exceed 120 watts.
  4. The temperature of the bathroom must remain between 72.5 and a generous 72.7 degrees at all times. Showers must be postponed, as the steam will most certainly push the temperature out of the desired -nay- mandatory range.
  5. A virgin sheep must concurrently be in the process of being shorn, somewhere within a 1,000 mile radius. (more…)