The Only Word Worse Than Moist

Words are powerful. They have the power to evoke memories and emotions alike. They move us to take action, or calm frazzled nerves. Words unite us or divide us depending on their message. They can fill your soul with love, or, break your heart into a thousand itty bitty pieces. Words are powerful.

Take, for example, the word “moist.”

I’m willing to bet that at least 80% of you just scowled and wrinkled your nose as if you had just smelled a day old poop diaper left in a hot car during a Miami heat wave. It’s not a pretty word, and depending on your personal experiences, probably brings up an unpleasant memory, like the shared gloves in our elementary music class that were used to play the fancy brass bells. Pulling on a cold and moist pair of cotton gloves when it was time to take my turn on the bells was on par with pulling up your wet one-piece after a pee break at the public pool, which is to say exceedingly difficult and gross feeling. Needless to say, my dreams of being a professional bell toller ended around the same time as the ring worm infection I got from the gloves got diagnosed.

While I don’t love the word moist, it doesn’t really skeeve me out too much. I mostly think of cake or muffins. But there is a word that sends spider-in-your-hair type shivers shooting down my spine: Rash.

Yep. Rashes make me irrational. Big time. Without fail, upon seeing a rash, the same thoughts always go through my mind:

1. Whatthefuckisthat?

2. A RASH! I’m itchy. My eyes itch. I have a rash in my eyes?

3. Well that is profoundly disturbing, and obviously hella contagious.

4. I am itchy. I am itchy all over. My eyebrows itch. I have a rash in my eyebrows?

5. This is ring worm? This is chicken pox? This is measles? This is poison ivy? I will google it.

6. GOOOOOOOOOOOOD GRIEF! I’m NEVER googling again. (Seriously. Never google image search the word rash. And especially never click on this link that shows you THE WORST PICTURE OF A RASH YOU’VE EVER SEEN. Don’t do it.)

Having a toddler in the house, I see my fair share of rashes. Diaper rashes and viral rashes that come after a fever. Nothing that has been contagious, and nothing that has been serious by any stretch of the imagination. But still. Rashes make me itch.

So let’s hear it. What’s your least favorite word out there?

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23 comments

  1. There are lots but I’m having a mummy brain moment and can’t remember. I did manage to avoid the temptation of the link though- burned once before. Let’s just say wondering as a young teen what certain STDs look like didn’t end well…

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  2. “Rag”. I hate it and Lou uses it instead of the word “washcloth”. I yell at him every time he says it around Sammy like it’s the equivalent of the “f” word. God help him if Sam starts saying. “Mommy, I pass me the rag”

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    1. Haha! That’s awesome! Glad to see I’m not the only one who has a random word that drives them bonkers. Heard through the grapevine you have a little lady on the way… many congratulations to you and your growing family, my friend!

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  3. I love the word moist. It always reminds me of chocolate cake. Chocolate cakes are the best when moist. As far as words that make me uncomfortable… Knuckles. I don’t really know why, but I hate it. Lol.

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  4. My mum has always called boobs ‘bosoms’… It’s always made me wince when she says it, partly through remembered teenage embarrassment, and partly because it makes me think of soft, saggy sacs (rather like I suspect mine will be after round two of bf’ing!!!)

    Ugh.. Bosoms.

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  5. Snout. Makes me think of a moist, snuffling nose/mouth combo and that just gives me the willies.

    Also, oregano. I can never get the emPHAsis on the correct syllable. O-REG-an-OH? Ore-GAHN-o? Or some other weird combination I can’t even think of, for a herb I don’t even like? Pah!

    Also also, I have no restraint. That picture was the stuff of nightmares and in my expert, non-medical opinion has clearly crossed the line between ‘rash’ and ‘horrific-burn-slash-alien-infestation’.

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    1. Snout? Like the nose of a little piggy? That is so funny. And Oregano?! I kind of wish we weren’t separated by thousands and thousands of miles because I’d like to have a few margaritas with you, and see what other fun facts you are toting around. And that picture. That picture… I like your description- hilarious, but also very, horribly disturbing… I’m going to try to use bosom in a sentence today and see how it feels. I’ll keep you posted.

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  6. As your new best friend, I need to tell you NEVER GOOGLE ANYTHING! What would you expect? My eyes are a little itchy after reading this post, I certainly will not click that link…not right now anyway, maybe in a little while, unless I can manage to forget about it….

    For some reason I cannot come up with any of the words that bother me (which is probably good) nor any of the words I love at the moment. I do agree with you, I dearly love most words….

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    1. The link is BAD. It’s mind boggling, actually. I don’t know if you’ve ever had poison ivy, but it’s the worst case I’ve ever seen. I’ll sum it up with one lovely word: bubbles.

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