Parenting

Dear Daughters: This Isn’t Beauty

Breaking internet news: Kim Kardashian’s naked butt is once again making the rounds on the internet. Like the last scoop of room temperature potato salad at your annual family reunion, we just can’t seem to be able to get rid of her naked derriere once and for all.

potato salad

You didn’t really think I was going to post a picture of her butt, did you?

But(t) I digress… (more…)

Surprise: You’re Doing Everything Right (Probably)

Last week I shared an emotional and moving guest post by a friend of mine who’s story really got me thinking. Her journey has been a long one, and having arrived at the shared destination of “motherhood,” it struck me that her challenges aren’t over. Far from it, they now look a lot like mine. These shared post-mother struggles are something I not only live out on a daily basis, but are something I see playing out on Facebook feeds and blog posts across the world, as I watch friends navigating the tricky waters of parenthood. The baby isn’t sleeping. The baby isn’t eating. The baby might be possessed. The baby bites the cat. The cat bites the baby. The baby locked me in the bathroom and I said shit approximately 1,000 times. I LOVE THE BABY! The baby the baby the baby. (more…)

Whining: The Other Call Of The Wild

I awoke with a start. It was dark. Very dark. And nearly silent, except for the hum of the fan, and the occasional gentle sound of waves lapping up against the nearby rocky shore. Unsure of what had woken me, I settled back into my pillow, and started to drift back to sleep. And then I heard it again: (more…)

The Odyssey, Or, How To Make Stone Soup According to a 6 Year-Old

It started so innocently.

“Auntie Em, do you know that one time I made stone soup?” I stopped washing dishes and looked down to see my 6-year-old niece staring up at me, a wide gap-toothed grin on her small, food-flecked face. “Wow, I didn’t know that,” I replied, thereby unknowingly opening the gates for what would become a 15 minute description that left me both very entertained, and, if I’m being honest, a little scared for what my future will likely hold. (more…)

A Big F-You to Mom Guilt and Enjoying Every Second

Mom Guilt. It’s everywhere, weaving its sticky tentacles in and out of everything we need to do, want to do, and end up not doing, all because some nostalgic Hallmark mom keeps pointing out, “It goes by so fast! Treasure every second.” Well I’m here to give Mom Guilt the swift kick in the ass it deserves, before it convinces yet another mom to give up on doing something she loves, just so she can spend every waking second with little Junior, lest she miss him finally figuring out where boogers come from. (more…)

The Thought Process of a Toddler At Snack Time

Oh my gaaaawd, Mommymommymommymoooooooommmmmy, I am so hungry! It’s been a full 20 minutes since I was last offered a sub-par snack, which, due to it’s sub-par nature, I declined by dumping it in the kitty water bowl. Phew, dodged that bullet! Just FYI, last I checked, I wasn’t on a hunger strike, so let’s make this snack prep snappy. (more…)