I awoke with a start. It was dark. Very dark. And nearly silent, except for the hum of the fan, and the occasional gentle sound of waves lapping up against the nearby rocky shore. Unsure of what had woken me, I settled back into my pillow, and started to drift back to sleep. And then I heard it again: (more…)
It started so innocently.
“Auntie Em, do you know that one time I made stone soup?” I stopped washing dishes and looked down to see my 6-year-old niece staring up at me, a wide gap-toothed grin on her small, food-flecked face. “Wow, I didn’t know that,” I replied, thereby unknowingly opening the gates for what would become a 15 minute description that left me both very entertained, and, if I’m being honest, a little scared for what my future will likely hold. (more…)
Mom Guilt. It’s everywhere, weaving its sticky tentacles in and out of everything we need to do, want to do, and end up not doing, all because some nostalgic Hallmark mom keeps pointing out, “It goes by so fast! Treasure every second.” Well I’m here to give Mom Guilt the swift kick in the ass it deserves, before it convinces yet another mom to give up on doing something she loves, just so she can spend every waking second with little Junior, lest she miss him finally figuring out where boogers come from. (more…)
Oh my gaaaawd, Mommymommymommymoooooooommmmmy, I am so hungry! It’s been a full 20 minutes since I was last offered a sub-par snack, which, due to it’s sub-par nature, I declined by dumping it in the kitty water bowl. Phew, dodged that bullet! Just FYI, last I checked, I wasn’t on a hunger strike, so let’s make this snack prep snappy. (more…)
You’ve probably heard of the show, “I Shouldn’t Be Alive.” It aired on Discovery or something a few years back, and chronicled stories of people who survived crazy situations where, you guessed it, they shouldn’t be alive to detail their experience. Stories like people being stuck in cars buried in snow banks for 5 days in subzero temperatures, surviving off a couple of old jelly bellies for food and using a box of maxi pads for warmth. (more…)
I am someone who carries around a bucket full o’ irrational fears with me most days. This bucket ‘o fears is less about feeling anxious, and more about feeling prepared for the unexpected. What would I do, for example, if the wheel fell off the car when I was driving down the highway? How would I subdue an injured flamingo that had escaped the zoo? Where would I bring a bag of money that I suspected had been stolen from a bank without being accused of being the bank robber? (more…)
Many people have made the claim that toddlers are like zombies, and that motherhood is like the Walking Dead. I get it. The drool, the incoherent babble, their constant pursuit and desire to bite… yes, I see the connection between toddlers and zombies. But I’m going to take it a step further and suggest that nearly every horror movie out there, in some way, shape, or form, is inspired by the behavior of our crotchety crotch fruit. (more…)
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It's just the beginning... by Ali Solomon
Hold Me, Don't Hold ME 