When Does This Get Easy?

Yesterday while walking home after picking my husband up from work, I was, to put it simply, wigging out. This week Baby 1.0 appears to have dropped her last remaining nap. Though each day we try, and try again, she just won’t fall asleep, and by 5 o’clock, we are both at our wits end. Nearly in tears, I explained to him how each step has been so hard for us, and I just have never felt like we were really getting it, if you get what I’m saying. This whole time we’ve been surviving, but I have never felt like we are thriving. With her deciding this week to drop her last remaining nap, yet again, I am left scrambling as I figure out how to manage this next developmental stage.

Today the frustrations again reared their ugly head after I lowered a sleeping child into her crib, just to watch her eyes pop open, and remain open. How stupid was I to think that for the first time this week, I would get to pee alone, and then eat a sandwich without someone screaming for me to draw another picture of a cat.

Now before you get all “It could be worse on me” trust me, I get it. The guilt of feeling frustrated and complaining that my healthy, wonderful child won’t sleep or eat when there are people with sick kids, or worse, no kids due to some tragic situation, makes me feel absolutely despicable. I should just be thankful I have a kid, right?

But for the love of all that’s holy, would it be too much to ask that the kid I have just eat a meal or two every day without me having to chase her around the house with 18 different options, and then, because she is tired and needs it, get a little sleep? It’s eating and sleeping, I’m asking for here, not the solution for the conflict in the Middle East.

So what do I do? What can I do, other than just put one frustrated foot in front of the other, and carry on as we always have, waiting for us to both settle into yet another new pattern. I’ve been through enough with Baby 1.0 to understand this is temporary, and in no time at all we will both adjust to 13 hours of awake toddler-time. But until then, all I want to do is cry, eat four chocolate croissants, and whine about it on a very public platform. When does this get easy?

IMG_4427

Proof that one time, she actually did nap.

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9 comments

  1. Oh, momma you’re more than free to voice your frustrations! People glorify motherhood to the point where it’s almost like we’re expected to be robots with no emotions. It seems like every time we get through a new milestone or hurdle with our babies they’re facing a new one! Finally the teething stopped… But now they’ve hit a growth spurt and think we’re a 24/7 buffet! Its so much better and healthier to be honest and realistic about it all. You’re totally right… This, like all the other rough patches, will pass and you will get the hang of it. =]

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  2. Just wait until she’s grown! I was just thinking the other day how my mom must feel to see her two babies be grown up. I don’t have children so I can’t imagine. I want to ask her but I haven’t had the chance yet. I think it would make for an interesting blog post. I bet there will be a day when you think back and say to yourself, “I wish you stayed that young forever.”

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    1. Haha! Maybe. Though I will be happy when I’m no longer responsible for cleaning up someone else’s poo every day 😉 But it is a good reminder to appreciate what you have when you have it…even if it’s hard!!

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  3. My gosh she’s a beauty!! (Aren’t they all while they’re sleeping!)

    And noooo… This has made me loose the little glimmer of hope that I had that yea, it will get easier.

    My baby is only 7 months old and I’m already so over the not sleeping!

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    1. Yeah, no sleep can really make things SO MUCH HARDER. Don’t let me negativity yesterday make you lose hope!! Every baby is different, and even if our babies are similar, every day is most certainly different. Today was better than yesterday, even with no nap, so there is always hope!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This was my day yesterday with a teething toddler. I couldn’t imagine how crazy no naps are. Don’t feel bad , I totally agree with your posts. We all have those crazy days or weeks lol. Sometimes you just a minute or two to yourself and for someone to say your doing a good job.

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    1. I am enforcing some “me” time right now, where I was going to shower but somehow ended up on the compy… 😉 Thanks for your kind words. I like to keep my posts lighthearted and humorous for the most part, but sometimes being a parent doesn’t feel very lighthearted and humorous, and I think that side should be shown, too.

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  5. My mom has told me since the beginning, “as soon as you think you’ve got them figured out, something changes again”, and it’s oh-so-true! My 18mo went through a stage of fighting violently against midday sleeps to the point where I could feel anxiety building as the clock crept closer to his usual time – and then, all of a sudden, I tried again, and he faded off to sleep quite easily.
    Also, a mum yesterday and I were talking about ages & stages, and she likes babies under a year, and I’m loving the toddler stage way better (even though he’s got opinions now!?!), so I think (hope) at some point you’ll get to a place where you are able to “hit your stride”. 🙂

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